On Transubstantiation
On Transubstantiation
an exercise from Danusha Lameris using Susan Firer's poem Transubstantiation as a jumping off point. Enjoy
I
Before it is love
It is just friendship. An agreement,
an exchange of favorites, time
bound by two. But once it is love
the binding melts. Everything is fire
then. Time sizzles like a string
on either end of the dynamite stick.
You are crackling towards the other now
revelling in your separateness. He is not you
you are not him, and oh how wonderful
that knowledge feels. Before the explosion,
the dynamite is a promise. A blowing apart
of each separate timeline, a portal to somewhere new.
After the stick blows, there is a settling. A choice
"Are we going to walk though?" After I hold my palm out,
it's no longer my palm. It's, a peach to be
carefully kept, lest it bruise, lest it spoil,
lest it rot. Before you decide where your palm will land,
it's a bird of prey, a peregrine falcon, in the wind.
One quick swoosh, and Before is killed,
one quick snatch, and Before is held limp, a relic,
a branch in the talons of what comes next.
II
Before she's a woman,
she's just a girl, and before that
a mere babe. A fetus,
a zygote, a twinkle in some other woman's eyes.
After she's a woman,
she becomes slut/prude
mother/notmother
single/married/divorced
good/bad, faithful/faithless
After she becomes a woman
we treat her body like a canvas
one that is either blank, or painted on,
but never anything else.
III
Before it's a book, it's just
a sentence. Some string
of letters horse racing out ideas.
Like Plato's forms, the story exists
somewhere else. Before it's a book,
there's no author, just some kook.
After it's a book, the kook may remain,
the word "author" gets spliced like a
Thanksgiving pie. A self published author?
a real author? An agent-represented author?
A debut author? A prolific author? A world class
author? All of these slices fragment only after
it becomes a book. But before it's a book,
its a series of letters, a sentence, a frame
and some pacing shapes in the mind's clouds
just waiting for their storm.
IV
Before we are friends,
you are just some woman at the yoga studio,
with a black mat, and black leggings, and a
tight little bun to match your waist.
Before we are friends,
you are just another body. One with elbows
and a belly button, and vertebrae
and shapes.
Before we are friends, we are both
all tight smiles, courtesy nods
and "after you's" inhales and exhales
on command.
But after, after we are friends?
Now you are eyes, and a mouth and teeth.
Now you are iced coffee and tarot decks
Now you are laughter, and a star chart reader,
and soul sister, and someone to eat the Sour
Patches with.
After we are friends, it's as if there are no bodies
at all. And only when we embrace, am I reassured
that you do exist.